


Not My Captain

by Thorfanficwriter



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Heavy Angst, Neutral reader - Freeform, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:07:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24346252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thorfanficwriter/pseuds/Thorfanficwriter
Summary: An angsty imagine that popped into my head. Neutral reader.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I had intended this as a oneshot, but due to the response on Tumblr, turning into a three part ficlet.

Steve appeared in your doorway, leaning against the door jamb with his arms crossed like he was wont to do. “Nat said you’re leaving?” 

“Yeah.” You kept your back to him continuing to literally throw things into the suitcase. Luckily, you didn’t need much and you could surely ask Pepper to send anything you might leave behind. 

“Where you goin’?” 

You shrugged. “Away. Some small town probably. Out of the state.” 

“You’ll be bored out in the country.” 

“Fine. Maybe I’ll try Chicago.” 

“You won’t last through the winter.” 

That’s when you turned on him. “What do you care? What’s it matter to you?” 

He hung his head then, knowing he deserved every bit of your fury. “I’m sorry,” he said barely above a whisper. 

“No, you’re not.” 

His stance changed, needing to stand up for himself. Moving his hands down onto his hips, he lifted his chin and said, “No, I’m not. But why can’t you see I’m keeping my distance for you; to keep you safe?” 

“Because it’s bullshit. You’re scared. You’re scared of your feelings and you’re hiding behind that hero persona that’s become some kind of sick emotional crutch.” The tears were falling freely then, but more from anger than sadness although that lingered as well. You angrily zipped up your bag and dropped it upright on the ground, pulling up on the extension handle. 

“Look, I—” 

“Just. Stop.” You finally stood still, squaring off in front of him. “I can’t shut down my feelings like that. And I certainly cannot stay here and pretend that I’m not completely and utterly in love with you _and_ watch you pretend you don’t feel the same way. Maybe you can live that way, but I can’t. I won’t.” 

“And we can’t even try to be friends?” 

You shook your head to indicate “No” but also in frustration. Grabbing hold of the suitcase handle again, you steered the rolling wheels behind you as you made for the door. On the way out, you left him with one last thought. “That shield may be great at protecting you, Steve, but it sure as hell won’t keep you warm at night.” 


	2. Chapter 2

Your eyes instinctively turned to your phone buzzing on the side table. Seeing Steve’s name pop up on the screen made you audibly groan. It had been a month since you left him and the rest of the Avengers behind. You wondered, briefly, if they needed you but then decided someone else — anyone else — would be calling.

The wound over your broken heart had just been starting to heal. You didn’t answer. He didn’t leave a voice message. Good. You let out the breath you didn’t know you’d been holding.

The phone buzzed again. He’d sent a text.

_ Can we talk? _

Delete the message then block him once and for all? Give it a long wait before answering? But you knew either of those options would leave you wondering and drive you nuts until you knew exactly what he wanted. So, you answered right away.

** About? **

A bubble with three dots and seconds later,  _ Us _ .

** There is no us **

_ There could be if you gave me another chance _

_... _

_ You were right _

By this point you were mad. Seething. How dare he do this to you. And a whole month after splitting? You got off the sofa and went to the kitchen to pour a large glass of wine. The fucker had just ruined your planned night of relaxation.

Once you sat back down and turned the volume back up on the TV, you peeked at the phone. He’d sent another text.

_ I love you _

Asshole.


	3. Chapter 3

The next Friday night, you looked through the peephole to see who had knocked. In an instinctive reaction, your head snapped back. You took a couple steps away from the door. 

Had he known you were home?” 

“You know I can hear you, right?” he said from out in the hall. 

You threw the door open. “What the hell are you doing here, Steve?” 

“You stopped answering my texts.” 

“Yeah. For a reason. Can’t you take a hint? You know, this is venturing into stalker territory.” 

He put both his hands up in surrender. “Okay. If you want me to go, just say the word and you’ll never hear from me again.” 

You knew logically that was what you should say. That was what any reasonable grown adult should do. But with him standing right in front of you, other, older, instinctual feelings came rushing back. They clouded all rational thought. 

Taking a step back, you opened the door wider to invite him in. 

“Thank you,” he said sheepishly looking at you from under his lashes. At that point, you knew he knew he had you. 

That didn’t mean you were going to make it easy on him. Neither of you spoke for a few moments. An emotional standoff to see who would cave first. For some ridiculous reason, you felt like whoever held out longer would have the upper hand. 

Finally, he broke. “Does this mean what I think it means?” 

“All this means is that I’m listening to what you have to say.” 

He nodded, looking away. Gathering his thoughts. Trying to remember all the words he’d carefully crafted on the flight but that had suddenly decided to escape him. He turned back to you and said, “I guess I should start by saying I love you.” 

“That’s a good start,” you replied. The words he’d never said aloud before couldn’t help but take a big chunk out of the chip on your shoulder. 

“I don’t let go of the things I believe in. I believe in us Y/N. That is, if you’ll give me a chance.” 

You crossed your arms in front of your torso and stood your ground. “And what happens when the haters on social media start making nasty comments? Or paparazzi start following me around? What if there’s a death threat? You, yourself, told me all of that is more than likely. Are you going to _distance_ yourself again?” 

His jaw clicked at the discomfort of thinking along those lines. You were well aware he’d considered all those scenarios and worse. According to him, not much else in his personal life had preoccupied his thoughts since the two of you had met six months ago. 

“We’ll figure it out. Together.” His words softened you and he could see it. “I don’t know how, but I do the idea of going on without you scares me.” 

“Ha,” you smirked. “I’m supposed to believe Cap is scared of anything.” 

“It’s just me here. Steve. I left the other guy back at work. Like you asked me to.” 

You so wanted to believe the man was finally starting to get it. But, still, you weren’t sure. “Thing is, I’m not sure I trust you." 

“Gimme a chance to earn it? We’ll go slow. As slow as you want. I don’t expect you to pack up and move back to the compound tomorrow. All I’m asking for is a shot.” 

With a deep resigned sigh, you answered, “Your aim better be dead on, pal.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Please check out the rest of my Works list for more Steve Rogers fics and other Marvel characters as well.


End file.
